busted

{Remember that HS {mid-late 90s I guess} phrase. Gosh that was over used. Moving on.}

I hadn’t spoken much about this cycle. It was very similar to my first medicated cycle { followed by Ovridril & bloating}. This time the 36 hour mark, fell in the middle of Kelly’s party. For maybe one of the first times ever for me, we left early. Not for being sick or other plans. No for sex.

I’d hoped it’d be worth it. Based on last month’s short LP, I added progesterone suppositories beginning three days after Ovridril {so Monday night for me}. I’d been warned they were messy. Yep, very. But I hoped they too would be worth it if they lengthened my cycle enough for pregnancy.

I spotted 8dpo {hello implantation spotting I thought!} then felt pretty nauseated the following day {morning sickness maybe?!}. My fingers & toes were crossed. My temps were staying up. Wednesday {11dpo}, I got a negative hpt then started spotting. I called the doctor to make baseline U/S appointment thinking it was day 1. I was sad, angry, & disappointed. I let myself have those feelings. Then I moved on to feeling hopeful for cycle 17 {my favorite number} & glad that the extra drugs that lengthened my LP.

The U/S showed stuff on my left ovary {same one with the huge follicle a couple weeks ago}. The nurse said it could be cyst{s} or the remaining of the egg. Lots of lining there so she sent me to lab for pregnancy bloodwork as well as estrogen level check. I was told after lunch I’d know if I was pregnant or had cyst. Continued praying.

My doctor himself called me at 10a {bless him for not making me wait any longer}. He advised I wasn’t pregnant & that my estrogen level was so high that it was definitely cysts. Those damn cysts meant we couldn’t start a medicated cycle . So I’m at busted. Cycle 17 {that lucky number?} busted. Dr P said we could try on our own, using OPKs & the progesterone. I don’t have much faith it’ll work & at least today am wishing this cycle away so we can move on.

Guess this is in line with Happy Infertility Awareness Week y’all.