Later today I’ll do a 34 week update, but I feel like there’s more to be said than answering those weekly update questions.
I’ve been pregnant for 34 weeks. Some bittersweet, but mostly happy weeks. Weeks filled with new bliss at being pregnant; what couldve been called naive faith that our triplet pregnancy would be a smooth one; being rocked when we lost Baby B; adjusting to a pregnancy with two growing babies; slowly getting used to & even saying ‘I’m having twins'; then ending with almost two weeks on hospital bedrest.
The ‘twins’ word hasn’t come out of my lips easy. But it’s what the world already does & will think when they see Zach & Lucy. I’m not one to focus on loss. To pull down myself & others by choosing to only see what’s missing instead if the gifts God has given us. So in that light, I’ve added ‘twins’ to my vocabulary where there was once ‘triplets’. I’ve even purchased a TW INS onesie for them to wear when they’re big enough. I’m looking forward to that photo op.
But tomorrow, I’m going to give birth to all three of my babies. And I’m so excited. And a little scared. And nervous at what my reaction to Baby B will be. Should we have named her? Made other plans for post-birth? I’m standing now by the decisions Jason & I have made. Made for us & for Zach & Lucy.
I have loved being pregnant. Every moment. Every ultrasound. Every kick, punch & head butt to the vag or ribs. Every bit of food to add close to 50 pounds in order to make them as big as possible. Every second of the last two weeks of bedrest. I will honestly miss the big belly. I’ll miss wearing the cute maternity clothes (but don’t think I’ll be giving them up for a few months)!
Today I’m rubbing on extra belly lotion & taking it pretty easy. Enjoying time with family & babies’ belly attention before the big day tomorrow.