Tag Archive for about Suz

ReLearning to Eat

From Nov 7th 2011 until very recently, I’ve been eating for three {or 14 weeks for four}. At first, that meant pouring through mom of multiples books for sample eating charts, foods recommendations & recipes to try to reach the goal of 3000 {then 2700} calories a day. I was told to add all the protein & fat I could because I was growing multiple babies {who’d most likely be preemies} & needed all they could get before they arrived. I switched to higher fat milk & subbed extra real butter on everything. Gone were any low calorie yogurt, cheese, cream cheese, breads, crackers, etc.

Then Z & L were born & my hard work eating all.the.things paid off as they were huge in comparison to their other NICU residents.

And boom. I was told by NICU LCs & MoM breastfeeding books to up my calories & fat again after L & Z were born to keep up my milk supply. So I was once again eating everything I could plus sticking with my ice cream before bed routine. In about 9 months after they were born, I’d lost the 50 lbs I’d gained pregnant plus 20-25 more. I was wearing clothes I hadn’t dreamed I’d ever fit into again while eating whatever I wanted {pretty cool, right?! Breastfeeding FTW}.

Then even when L & Z started eating solids as their main nutritional source & we started cutting nursing sessions, I kept up my big breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner & dessert routine. It’s what I knew & what my stomach was telling me I was hungry for. I was busy & tired & usually somewhat overwhelmed by life & just doing what I could.

Cue 19 months post-partum. Today. I’m still nursing L before bed & Z during 1-2 dream feeds a night. Yes my 19, almost 20, month old son doesn’t STTN {& nor do I} but that’s a whole other post. I’m still trying to drink a lot of water {although thankfully not the 100 oz I was doing while pregnant & EBFing} & maintain calories of hopefully healthy food to pass through in my milk. But honestly, my eating is kinda of a joke some days. My constant {especially strong post-nursing} sweet tooth & the holidays didn’t help.

I’ve gained back 15-20 of those pounds I’d lost. My post-multiples lower belly is a mess of chub & stretch marks & my boobs will never be where they once were. I do have kick ass arm muscles for someone my size thanks to carrying 50+ lbs of toddlers multiple times a day though. Multi-mom bonus!

I’m okay with my body shifting. Hello, I grew babIES! And at some point, I’ll find time from somewhere to work out & see about tightening up those stomach muscles. But my priority now is relearning how to eat. This might sound crazy, to some, but it’s been 26 months since I was eating for just me & I’ve kinda forgotten normal portions!

It doesn’t help that I’m on my own with getting all three of us up & out the door in the mornings. My prior life breakfast routine of leisurely eating cereal isn’t an option as I’d have L & Z going after my spoon or food while I run around the house. This past weekend, we hit up Trader Joe’s for some quick & healthy week night meals {L & Z like to eat by 6p which makes recipes with a lot of effort or cooking time a non-option} as well as their organic milk & yogurt & breakfast items for me. So I’m going to admit that instead of my usual two bagels with cream cheese when I get to work at 830, yesterday am, I ate a whole wheat bagel with cream cheese at home. While I peed. & L & Z dumped out their sock drawer. Because that’s the 5 2 mins I had to eat.

I bring my lunch to work most days & have started to pack less. And I’m cutting out my mid-afternoon snack since we usually eat dinner early.

Dinner is tough because, like I said above, it has to be made quick & I still want high calorie foods to bulk up L & especially Z. I’m not a short order cook & I want us all eating the same thing.

And I’m not ready to give up my beloved dessert forever but have cut it out some nights this week. I’m motivated. But not that motivated. :-P

So, long long long story short, I’d love to hear how, post-baby{s}, you got back to normal or the new normal.

What I’m Loving {first world mom edition}

It’s been a while since I’ve done a shopping post. Well it’s rare I’m shopping much at all except online these days!

But I love seeing what other bloggers are digging & thought I’d join in. This is completely unsponsored.

My new Lilly Pulitzer Chi Omega bracelet. lilly-chi-o-bracelet.JPGI was unable to pass it up during their summer sale. And I’m so glad I didn’t! I’ve found reasons to wear red/yellow/mint green since it arrived Thursday.

I’ve been going to the same salon for a couple times now, & they recommended {& had on sale} KMS Free Shape shampoo & conditioner. It was more expensive than my usual Target brand, but it feels like a delicious smelling luxury & makes my curls & color shine.

I’ve been loving a few moms of multiples resale Facebook pages recently. I’ve bought most of Lucy’s 18-24 mo & Zach’s 12-18 mo clothes from other MoMs. Including a new lot of Trumpette 12-24 mo socks. I’m obsessed & love that they’re gender neutral!

I haven’t hit purchase as I currently refuse to spent $25 for an outfit for Lucy when she has a closet full of 18 mo clothes I’ve super sale or consignment shopped for her. But oh my goodness I love the current owl line at Gymboree! Look at these ruffle leggings.wpid-IMG_20130823_113627.jpg

 

Lemonade. Random? Yes. But I think since I couldn’t handle lemonade while pregnant due to heart burn, I’m making up for it this summer. I like it pink, homemade, store bought &/or mixed with sweet tea. My current favorite is from Panera.

I am loving my current read: Stephen King’s 11/22/63. I’m also loving that my cubemate, dad & husband have all read it. So in addition to September’s book club chat, I’ve been one-sided {no spoilers!} chatting as I read along. I’m getting close to the end & can’t wait to see how it wraps up!

Whole Foods: it’s nicknamed Whole Paycheck for a reason, but if you’re in a rush & need a quick meal that you know is going to taste great, you can’t beat it. This week I went to Whole Foods for a to go dinner for a new mom friend & also left with breakfast muffins & a bean & cheese burrito lunch for myself. Loved every bite.

What’s your current obsession? Be it food, drink, clothes? I am missing something I will ‘need’ for fall?!

Power of the Post

I post about the hardness of marriage & parenting. And boom. In the last weeks, things have been great with Zach & Lucy, and much better with the husband. We’ve enjoyed lots of playing as a family, & thanks to Cici & Pops babysitting, J & I had a day lunch & movie date last Sat!

Then I post an update on breast feeding where I note Zach might be weaning. And boom, he’s gone back to nursing great overnight & in the morning {much easier for us}. He cut a new bottom right tooth Sun am. Maybe pre-teething was part of the strike?!

In the same post, I noted I was a little stressed about making the transition to sippy cups for daycare with them. So we tried it this week at daycare’s strong suggestion, & boom, they do great! They’re up to two sippy cups of 1/2 breast milk & 1/2 formula & 1 bottle. The bottle just in case they need to use it if they refuse the sippy & because I wasn’t prepared & we don’t yet have enough sippys yet.

I shouldn’t doubt the awesomeness of the kiddos. & just how great {even better than their momma} they roll with changes. Nor the awesomeness of the husband & our marriage.

And/or really, maybe it’s all due to posting? To putting it out there? Maybe there’s real power in the post{s}?!

Anybody have something going on I need to post about so it can be fixed for you?! :)

Putting it All on the Table

I’m taking a deep breath & opening up today. I’m admitting that I’m struggling a bit. I’m having a harder time than I’d like to believe. Is it delayed PPD/PPA {don’t think so}, just rage, loneliness or my newborn rose colored glasses wearing off?

Conversations more often than we like start & end between the husband & I with sarcasm, tension & defensiveness. Even silly non-essential ones. Our guest bedroom has been used more than I’d like to admit due to sickness {the real kind & the sick-of-each-other kind} in the weeks since his CA trip.

I’m less than okay with the entire paragraph above. But I’m not sure where to go or what to do about it. We have different parenting styles but that usually works out- I’m laid back, he can be a worrying helicopter. We level each other out in that department.

I know I’m partly to blame for all the rage that spouts out when things aren’t going my way or aren’t going as planned. I’ve always been someone who likes to be in control.

I strongly dislike sickness & sleepless nights. By now, I should be used to them. I don’t do well on little sleep or when hungry. I’ve also found I don’t like having to be a nag or repeat myself for things to get done. I also don’t do well cooped up inside for an entire day.

Week before last, Lucy had a stomach bug & J started getting a man cold. Man cold got worse with added sore throat last week. Dr said not strep Thurs. Add in temps over 101 all weekend for him & both Lucy & Zach not sleeping through the night all week. Oh & throw in a blister/crack on my nipple that causes me to yelp upon any contact to it aka nursing or pumping. Mix that all together & you have a houseful of tired, grumpy adults & kiddos making a great recipe for a rainbow, joy-filled weekend {insert sarcasm}.

The blister makes me want to throw in the towel on pumping/nursing. But it’s the only thing that gets them back to sleep {sorta} quickly in the middle of the night. What do parents who don’t nurse do? Heat bottles? Rock/walk babes back to sleep? We’re only planning to keep up the formula/breast milk for another month, so I’ll need to figure this out too.

I posted before on co-sleeping & how we like it. Now I’m starting to resent it. I don’t resent the extra cuddles, but I can’t say I love sharing my pillow or getting kicked in my sore boob all night. Or that Z hasn’t wanted to nap in his own crib anymore & both fight like hell sometimes in the middle of the night. Plus, it’s another excuse why husband & I aren’t co-sleeping: our bed full of babies so he escapes to guest room. Or we separate bedrooms each with an overtired, fussy kid hoping it buys us an hour of sleep.

We had a break with family help just two weekends ago at the beach. It was a good weekend besides me raging a bit over a lost Lucy beach hat & MIA beach quilt {both eventually discovered}.

I often feel like I’m on my own even though I know I’m not. I know & appreciate the fact that my husband & family are way more involved than so many other multi-mommas have it. That said, I still often feel like I’d love to run away. Like I need a break more than anything else even though I get one while at work & escaped to a beautiful baby shower Sat morning. And when I am away from them, I miss my babies & husband something fierce. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to have conversation not about them {maybe also why I feel out of the loop with my friends?!}

It doesn’t help that a baby or husband being sick or out of town has stopped me from being able to attend the last few girls’ night gatherings I’ve been included on. Maybe I wouldn’t be furiously typing this if I’d had a place to share my feelings over margaritas.

I don’t want a divorce or broken family. My husband is the best daddy, & I think J is ridiculously handsome & don’t want to be having disagreements with anyone else. I don’t want to run away or be away from Z & L for long.

I do want fun, family days- trips to the beach without stress & tension, afternoons at the park or just on the back deck with their baby pool & water table. I’d like a date night with hand holding & eating baby-free. A girls’ night {or dare I wildly dream, weekend} where I don’t have to worry about my three at home. Am I crazy? Am I asking too much?

Family, no need to worry & call. I’m okay. We’re okay. Just needed to vent & get this off my chest. I already feel better just from online support.

Jury Duty

In 31 years, I’d never received a certain piece of mail. A jury duty summons. Until about a month ago. Honestly, I laughed when I got it. I tweeted & was assured as a nursing/pumping working mom, I’d easily get out of it. I threw May 13th jury duty on my work calendar & kinda forgot about it.

Until last Friday afternoon when I called the jury duty line & heard my juror number was one of the ones who had to report to the courthouse at 830a. I {still laughing} told my boss I’d be in late & left my desk as is at 5p.

When I arrived at Wake Co courthouse Monday morning, I told the jury clerk I needed to pump {& that my 11 mo old was throwing up}. She said {nicely} sorry your son’s sick & let me know when you need to pump as my office/copy room is also the pump room. So much for quickly & easily escaping my civil service.

Thankfully I’d brought a book {Defending Jacob which will have it’s own post soon} & I spent from 830-11a reading surrounded by 198 others in slightly comfy chairs. At 11, she called out 44 names to report to a courtroom needing a jury. Mine was called. I texted the husband who was home taking care of sick Zach that I wouldn’t be home soon but would be in touch.

As our elevator got off on the 3rd floor & I read that was the criminal courtrooms, I got a little nervous. Then we filed in & the judge advised us potential jurors that this was a first degree murder trial with media coverage {I wasn’t familiar with the 2 year old crime} & I got more nervous.

From here on, I received a lesson in jury selection as done by the NC court system. Twelve potential jurors were called up, interviewed individually & as a group & dismissed by either the DA or the defense attorney. After jurors were dismissed, at random, those of us remaining in the pews were called. My name continued to not be called Monday & since the selection wasn’t complete at 5p, I had to report back to the courthouse Tues morning.

Tuesday was more of the same, sitting in a wooden bench with knots in my stomach waiting to be called. I was unsure whether or not I wanted to hear my name. If I did, I could {finally} tell them I was a nursing mom who needed to pump more often than the 930a & 2p that I did Monday & hopefully be let go. If I never did, I’d be dismissed once all parties were satisfied with the jury. The latter is what finally happened Tuesday around lunch time.

I left downtown with a sigh of relief, a lot more knowledge & respect for our court system, & knowing they’ll be a $32 check for my two days coming soon. And knowing I can’t be called upon to serve again for two years.

Any of y’all had jury duty?