A Tiny Little Bit Of a Broken Heart

It’s been a while since I shared much of a status on the kiddos. I share so much with photos & updates on FB & IG that this page gets a little dusty sometimes. But since y’all have been here with me since the very beginning figured I’d share what’s going on.

Let me preface this saying that Lucy is “fine”. We are confident in our pediatrician as well as pediatric cardiologist & trust what they’ve assured us. I KNOW, oh Lord how my heart hurts just thinking about children, my friends children, who have had literal heart break, that this could be oh so much worse. I am not trying to diminish that. But I’m still processing & this is how I process.

So a rewind. Tuesday week ago, Lucy & Zach had their 5yr old check up. We saw one of the main doctors in the practice, one we’ve seen before & that I’d always liked. Height & weight great (44″ & 48lb for L & 43″ & 43lb for Z). Hearing good. Eye sight good. Urine & bloodwork sample good. They passed their can you balance, say numbers, letters “test” fine.

Dr looked at eyes, ears, throat (check, check, check) & listened to their lungs & heart. At their hearts, he had them sit up & lay down & then later in the appointment listened again. I was kinda thinking hmmm? But also wrangling two keyed up 5y olds who’d just heard & realized they were each getting 4 shots, so I was a bit distracted.

After all was said & done, Dr told us that he heard murmurs in both their hearts, more severe in Lucy. And that he wanted us to take them to a pediatric cardiologist this summer. I was shocked. All their Dr appointments over last 5yrs & we were just hearing about this. He advise as hearts grow, things can change. He felt like it could be nothing, but that he recommended seeing a specialist.

They were a bit of a mess from four shots each & I was a bit of a mess stressing over “heart murmurs”, so we stayed home last Wednesday. I still have not googled it as I don’t want to know.

(We stayed in bed watching Netflix for way longer than usually acceptable still-in-bed time. But they were dressed though!)

Pediatric cardiologist office actually called Wed after they received the referral so I was glad I had time to take their call & make appointments. Lucy’s appointment was 6/13. (& Zach’s will be 6/26 & I’ll do an update post on his afterwards.)

So back story done. Here’s synopsis of Lucy’s appointment.

They took us back quick; did basic height/weight then showed us to our room. There Lucy put on a gown & had an EKG done of her heart. The nurse was amazing. Chatted & had Lucy happy & giggling then taught her how to be a statue for the testing.

Next the Dr & a training Dr came & listened to her heart. She told us they could hear 3 different murmurs but not to be alarmed that they’re “normal murmurs of childhood”. For that I was thinkful & honestly we didn’t ask questions. We were happy to hear “normal”. I now want to know what is normal & do all kids have these or is it like badish but still within “normal” range?!

She still wanted to do heart ultrasound so into that room we went. (That room, all the way down to the warmed up gel, brought back so many babies doctor appointment memories for both Jason & I!) Lucy was happy all through the ultrasound because they had Netflix Trolls playing on a TV above her head! (Thank goodness.)

I, on the other hand, thought to myself, this is taking way longer than it should for a “normal” heart. Jason came & sat down beside me & held my hand. I think he was thinking the same thing. Once she finished, we headed back to exam room which is where she told us that Lucy has a small hole in her heart.

A hole in her heart.

I know my face showed all the emotions I was trying to hold back. The cardiologist assured us it was very small hole. When she was born, one of the holes you’re born with just never fully closed. It was an incidental find in the ultrasound as it’s too small to make a murmur heard from stethoscope.

It’s not effecting her in any way. It’s not bad enough she wants surgery. She said it could close up on it’s own but usually if it was, it would have already done so. She wants to monitor it & see us back in 18-24 months. Lucy doesn’t have any medicine to take, no food restrictions, & no childhood activity restrictions.

She does have three things she can’t be or do due to possibility of blood clot or air bubble getting in through the hole. She can’t be an astronaut. She can’t be a fighter pilot (but she can fly in commercial airline). & she can’t deep sea scuba dive. So those are random. & probably not things she’d ever want to have as her career plans.

It’s jarring me still though to know that she does have these limitations (albeit crazy ones that the vast majority of people can’t or don’t want to do). I’m also jarred that my long hoped/prayed/dreamed/stressed over having daughter has had a heath issue pop up like this all the sudden, out of no where. Going into our preterm labor/delivery/NICU days, I had prepared my head & my heart for possible complications. At their 5yr check up after 5 yrs of (mostly) healthy kid life, I wasn’t prepared.

So this week, I’ve held them tighter, read just-one-more-book books way past bedtime, high fived & celebrated their little accomplishments realizing that things aren’t always as you thought. And that your sweet, silly, wild, crazy girl might just have a tiny little bit of a broken heart.

Almost 3.5

Almost 3.5 is sass, opinions & non-stop chatting.

3.5 is princess & skirts, dresses & nightgown obsessed.

Almost 3.5 is anger, throwing & back talk. 3.5 is all-things-trains & dragons, monkeys & puppy dogs.

Almost 3.5 is 85% daytime potty-trained & no end in sight for nighttime pull ups.

Almost 3.5 is kicking & crying & screaming & flailing when they don’t get their way.

But almost 3.5 is also all the cuddles, hugs, slobbery kisses, high-fives, & I Love Yous that make exhausted parents of threeangers go to sleep with happy hearts.

Zach & Lucy’s first trip to the Zoo

We were in VA this past weekend to celebrate our good family friend Emily’s wedding Saturday night. The wedding was at Lewis Ginter gardens at 6p, gorgeous timing for flowers, sunset, dinner & dancing.

Suzstreats Emily's wedding

Emily looked radiantly beautiful & so happy! I enjoyed catching up with family friends, & enjoying a night out with the husband, my brother & SIL & my parents.

Before the wedding festivities, we had a full day open. My family, not one to let a full day go by unplanned, decided we’d go to the Metro Richmond zoo for the first time.

There are so many animals there & the best part is that they are so close!

suzstreats Zoo Trip

We fed goats, sheep & deer, & saw flamingos, prairie dogs, a tiger who loved walking right by Zach, a muddy rhino that was more Lucy’s nervous style, an alligator, camels, two buffaloes & more monkeys than my monkey-loving little guy (& me too!) could keep count of. Big chimpanzees & orangutans to tiny little monkeys who leaped & flipped & swung from their branches.  The “waddle waddle” penguins were adorable & also a favorite.

Suzstreats Zoo Visit

But the giraffes won our hearts & were definitely about who Zach & Lucy ran inside to tell their Pops (who hadn’t joined us)! My mom aka Cici & Zach fed giraffes out of their hands while I snapped photos & Lucy picked up the fallen food off the ground to hand to Cici & Zach (we didn’t pay for the cup of food). It was amazing to see them so close! (& yes they had hand santizer stations all over as well as bathrooms soon after the giraffe’s area.)

SuzsTreats Zoo Giraffes

At the advice of friends, we arrived soon after they opened so the zoo wasn’t super crowded & my mom had packed a picnic lunch so once we finished up, we were able to go back to the car to grab our coolers & then eat on picnic tables there within the zoo.

Suzstreats zoo picnic

If it hadn’t been nap time, I’d have loved to go back to get another peek at the tiger & also see if the lions had woken up from their naps!

We’ll definitely be going back to the Metro Richmond zoo, I’d say it’s great for all ages ~ my 90 year old Papa enjoyed it as much as my almost- 3 year olds did! Going from 10am-1pm worked well for us but you could take your time more or easily go back for a second look at your favorite animals & stay there all day long.

Two Year Photos

Before I get into a fun & poignant week of birthday week posts, I didn’t want to leave out sharing a few of my
favorite photos from Lucy & Zach’s two year photo session with my lovely & talented friend Steph, the photographer behind LilyMae Photography.

Lucy & Zach 2 year

Lucy & Zach 2 year family

Lucy & Zach 2 year family B&W

Yep, this is our life ~ laughingly wrangling toddlers & doing whatever it takes to make them smile 🙂

Lucy 2 year

Lucy girl!

Zach 2 year chair

Lucy 2 year chair

Lucy’s smile {finally!} is thanks to her Daddy’s tickles!

Zach 2 year eyelashes

Eyelashes, thanks to his Daddy. 🙂 Curls I’m putting off cutting, all Mommy 🙂

Lucy & Zach were just about over photos when we changed them into their birthday outfits. But Steph & I were determined to get a few sweet shots of them together. Thanks to Annie’s fruit snacks, these were accomplished!

Lucy & Zach 2 year with mommy

So proud to call them mine & TWO!

Lucy & Zach 2 year kiss

This shot is so them ~ a mix of sweetness & side eye!

Big thanks Steph!

Potty Training {times TWO}

Two year ago if you’d asked if I would’ve let alone taken much less shared this photo below I would’ve been somewhat repulsed & laughed out laugh. Who takes photos of their kids’ pee?

Me! The mom who almost cried she was so happy & proud of her daughter’s first peeing on the potty, that’s who. {I’ve also taken – but not shared – multiple poop photos for doctors’ visits.}

After months of L & Z sitting on their little potties before we jump into the bath, Lucy peed {now two Monday nights ago}! She was kinda like oh what happened?! at first then she was so proud of herself as I clapped & shouted & hugged her! Zach jumped into the excitement too before I whisked their lil naked bums into the bath!

image

Lucy’s first peepee in potty & proud girl after bath! 🙂

It hasn’t’ happened again since. But we haven’t been pushing potty training ~ just brought them potties in the bathroom that they’ll sit on fully dressed when I pee & then they sit naked before baths. We have potty books we now read & have watched an Elmo Potty DVD. I plan to get more into potty training this summer as they show more interest & successes.

Any potty training times two tips fellow multiples moms?!