Talk or Not Talk

Some days, IF, my cycle, where I am in my cycle are all I want to talk about. with anyone & everyone. Other days, like yesterday, I left our follow up appointment & didn’t want to over-share. Not at first. Not with everyone or anyone. I told coworkers who asked, especially the one who’s been through IF too. I texted a few friends. But after working two hours later than normal, by the time my mom called at 7p, I was over talking. {It’s also sorta weird to tell your mom about husband’s buddies being turkey bastered into you in a couple of weeks.}

So instead of doing much talking last night, I cooked dinner: chicken & potatoes. The chicken I topped with a tbsp of mayo, pizza herbs & parmesan cheese. The new potatoes I quartered, layered in a pan, topped with garlic, red pepper, & those same pizza seasonings as well as EVOO. I cooked both on 375 for 40 minutes. Delicious with large glass of wine & so easy.

Then I read some more of Waiting for Daisy. While Peggy Orenstein & her husband have a different IF experience than us, it’s so nice to read I’m not alone with so many of my feelings.

Tomorrow’s the first NCSU football game. While it’ll be “nice” that since the beta was negative {& AF showed up today}, I’ll be able to enjoy the wine mixer we purchased months ago for this occasion. I’m also sad. Sad that I’ll be able to drink this football season. And that I have to once again talk about IF. Or not talk. Because who knows, tomorrow, I might want to verbal vomit IF all day, or just a little, or I just might want to brush off all conversations about it. I never know. And if I don’t know, I’m sure my friends don’t know what to say either.

My thoughts for others with friends going through IF; let your friend take the lead about talking. Or not talking. But please don’t not talk or ask either. Because IF can be so isolating. Just letting them know you’re acknowledging it sometimes can mean so much.

This rambling circle of a post is my Infertile Friday. If you’ve had your own thoughts rambling around this week {infertility or other ones}, let me know I’m not alone. I appreciate it.

13 comments

  1. Suzanne says:

    Oh Suz, I’m so sorry. I won’t claim to know what you’re going through, but if you ever need to talk I can be a great listener.

  2. JJ says:

    Youre so right…infertility can be incredibly isolating. And its been a bit of a gnarly scar for me–although we are not actively in treatments (but spent 2 1/2 years doing them) I feel like the most random things will rip open that wound for me.
    Here to be a support for you, just “listen” as you write, or tell you a funny joke :) ((Hugs))

  3. Mama Fisch says:

    I may not “get it” or being “going through it” but I think about you and your journey and will always be here to lend an ear or share a glass of wine over twitter! Hang in there lady! Your honesty is what I appreciate more than anything!

    • Suz says:

      I’m up for wine over twitter & words with friends any time! Enjoy your fresh baked baby. Thanks for taking the time to read & listen & am humbled you’re thinking of me. I appreciate it.

  4. :( I’m sorry. And I know this month must have been made tougher with that stupid Facebook thing. ((hugs))

    • Suz says:

      I was honestly so busy at work last week that I hadn’t really seen or heard of the silly FB thing. Then I knew what it was before I saw it posted too many times. I love that Nichole & others have spoken out about how hurtful it can be. Hugs right back to you for your kindness.

  5. Miranda says:

    I’m so, so sorry, Suz. IF sucks monkey nuts. :(

  6. Shannon says:

    Hugs to you. Let me know if you ever want to walk & vent. I haven’t been through all the treatments but have “been there” (2 years ttc with H) going on 1 year now.

    • Suz says:

      Thanks Shannon. Look forward to talking to you over a walk soon. I strongly believe talking out IF vents is the best way to be able to move forward.

  7. [...] I mentioned in my Talking about Infertility post, knowing I’m not alone or the only one who has or is struggling with infertility is a [...]

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