Category: Trying To Conceive

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Trying To Conceive

Post-IUI Two Week Wait

I haven’t posted at all about my IUI since my pre-IUI Infertile Friday. I haven’t responded to any of the sweet comments from that post because I couldn’t without crying. I so felt the love that Friday & Saturday & as always, am so thankful for the e-support.

I’m both at a loss for words {maybe a first} & have been a bit overwhelmed at knowing where to start typing about my IUI & feelings since. This will be rambling, but it’s my blog right, so I can ramble here?!

Last Saturday morning {before the family football fun}, Jason went to the RE & did his thing. I arrived {with my mom as my driver} about an hour later. I was taken back to a small room, & while Mom offered to go with me to hold my hand but I ultimately decided that’d be too weird. I was thrilled to see one of my favorite nurses walk in. I was already put at ease just knowing it was her doing it. I signed the same forms under my husband’s name & was told everything looked great with 45 million freshly washed sperm.

The procedure itself was more painful than I’d heard, but after my experience at the cervix dilation I was afraid it would be. I clenched my teeth & fists as she finally found the opening & insert in the catheter. It didn’t take very long {maybe a few minutes?} before she was done & we were chatting. She answered my questions: that it was fine for me to go to the game & walk around, to take Tylenol for the cramps that would happen {they sure did}, that the sperm wouldn’t leak out but to wear a pad because the pink liquid they wash them in might leak {it did}, that I might spot a little & that was normal for all the poking around she’d done {I did}. She said the sperm would find there way & the connection would happen within three minutes but she had me stay laying down for 10-15 minutes.

After I got up & redressed, I paid my $$$ & met my mom in the waiting room. I was very thankful that she was there to drive me home {Jason had to go straight from his appointment to work} as I was too uncomfortable to drive. We were home around 9 & luckily for me, the tailgaters weren’t arriving until 11:15 so I spent about an hour & half on the couch in my yoga pants & Tshirt before having to change.

How have I been feeling in this past week or so? Good. The cramping from the IUI itself went away by Saturday afternoon & I was all better Sunday. I did the Ovridrel booster shot while I was in Edenton last Tuesday & began the progesterone last Monday. I’ve been feeling a little bloated, but I can’t be sure if that’s from all the food I ate last week, from the booster Ovridrel or from possible future baby. I’ve also had sensitivity in my breasts which is a little normal for PMS time but I’ve never experience to this degree {it was painful trying to run & I’ve been woken up by it at night if I’m on my stomach}. I felt a few twinges in the middle of last week. Implantation? Gas? I’ve been kinda light-headed or queasy if I don’t drink enough water or wait a long time to eat.

Are these early pregnancy signs? Yes. Am I a bit paranoid & over-analyzing every little thing? Also yes. Time will tell sooner than later as this 2WW should end soon.

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Trying To Conceive

Braver Than I Ever Thought

This post follows up well to yesterday’s I’ll never post. Because I truly thought I’d never have to do all the crazy, scary, way-out-of-my-comfort-zone things I’ve been since being “infertile”.

I’d have thought, I’ll never be able to do seven days straight of giving myself injections. I hate needles. But I’m happy with the effects they have on fighting infertility & I have the shot pin points to show I’ve done them each day this past week.

I’ll never be able or have to give blood multiple days in a week. I was scared, & I have the triple bruises to prove I survived.

I’ll never be able to grow six follicles {two to three of which we’re thinking are now mature}. Yep, did that & bloated enough to show.

I’ll never have to have an IUI.Yet here we are, on the afternoon before our first IUI.

What am I feeling? I don’t know. A million things ~ excited, nervous, happy, relieved, overwhelmed, a little scared of the unknown, scared of possible pain, scared of it not working, scared it works too well. And at the same time, I feel nothing~ too much in the zone or in a blur just trying to take it all in. All at once.

My parents are on their way into town for the NCSU football game tomorrow. {Jason has to go straight to work after he does his part, so Mom might also go with me tomorrow in case I’m too crampy to drive home.} So right now, I’m thinking about the vacuuming & cat litter clean-up that must be done. Sometimes, distraction from the serious, major, easy to over-think-&-be-overwhelmed-by topics is a very peaceful feeling.

What have you done that’s braver/stronger/more than you ever imagined you could do?

How awesome would this be if this is one of my last Infertile Friday posts?! That’s in my wildest, most lovely dreams.

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Everything Else Trying To Conceive

I’ll Never…

A popular drinking game in my high school & college crowds was “Never Have I Ever”. Someone would say a phrase beginning with “never have I ever” & if you’d done that, then you drank. Example: never have I ever kissed a boy. Simple, easy & fun. Usually led to lots of laughs, stories told & tipsy friends.

My “never have I ever” list now is much the same, yet there’s so much different or maybe just different priorities. Now I think my social circle talks in Never Will I Ever…spank, bottle/formula/breast feed, EBF, co-sleep, daycare, public school, home school, cloth diaper. That list can go on & on.

Using reusable pads aka Momma Cloth would’ve been on my list as recently as the beginning of this summer. It’s not something I would have bought. I think I might have even skipped over a few of my friend Sally’s blog giveaways for it thinking, “gross” or “how weird”.

But {you knew that was coming right}, some Charlie Bananas & a Willow Pads reusable cloth pads were included with the rest of the green swag from the Haute Green party while I was in San Diego. That night as I was ruffling through the bag, I brushed them off. Sunday morning as I was packing, I pulled them out of the box & actually felt them~ soft, fluffy, & with super cute pink/blue fabric backings. After {TMI alert} leaking through undies due to progesterone supps all that week, I realized instead of liners that I’d trash {& forgot to pack to BlogHer} or having to change undies frequently, I could just try momma cloth.

So for the TTW portion of my next cycle, I slept wearing Charlie Banana pads. No leaks, no mess. Their comfort & softness make up for any bulk they might add.  I haven’t worn them to work but did one Saturday with a skirt/jeans & didn’t feel like anyone could tell. They washed easily in my normal laundry & in time, I’d imagine they’d also wash well in a cloth diaper load. Admittedly, I haven’t been brave enough to rock them during my period, but I can see my “Never Will I Ever” stance cracking there too.

What’s on your “never have I ever list”? What’s something that was on that list that’s changed recently?

Edit: Since I originally wrote this about a month ago, I tried sleeping in cloth while AF was in town. It was different & a tiny bit messy, but the pad came out clean in the wash & was more comfortable than a heavy tampon. Also, Charlie Bananas & Willow Pads have not sponsored me {beyond that they sponsored the Haute Green party}. I’m pretty sure they don’t even know who I am & don’t know about this post. My opinions are uninfluenced & all my own.

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Everything Else Trying To Conceive

IF Fatty Dress Help

My brother’s wedding is 10/22. Like three weeks away. I can’t wait to witness the wedding of such a great couple. I know it’ll be a great time celebrating with family & friends for that whole long weekend. I’m honestly so excited!

When I think of weddings, one of my first thought is outfit ~ particularly dresses. I purchased this Adrianna Papell dress {in a latte brown color} a couple month ago as my bridesmaids dress. Love it & it’s happily checked off my to-do list.

What I’m worried a little about though is a rehearsal dinner dress. What do I wear?!

A combination of stress, laziness, work travel & summer weather has me feeling chubbier than ever. I know there are some people who react & combat stress like infertility by losing their appetite or working out. Not me ~ not even a little. I find solace in comfort food & desserts & alcohol. True story. Need a happy hour friend? A buddy to grab fro-yo with? Call/text/tweet me. I had a great walking buddy in A before she moved {miss you friend} & have been chatting about walking with other friends {but we haven’t, yet}.

Back to the dresses, the rehearsal will take place at the hotel where ceremony & reception are being held. The rehearsal dinner is at the historic & kinda funky The Old City Bar. I’ve purchased three dresses as options for this night. Since it’s late in October, I want 3/4-long sleeves, but since it’s not a super dressy crowd & location, I’m thinking shorter dress & probably no tights. Not sure shoes yet. I’d love your honest opinions. {Some times I really miss living with 40 girls in my Chi O sorority house. It made getting ready so easy & fun!}

Option one: Lilly Pulitzer Shauna Tunic in Turquoise Optical Confusion. My good buddy B picked this up for me at this spring’s Warehouse Sale. It’s a little tight in the tummy/hips, but with shape-wear, I think it would look ok. {I might be a little uncomfortable/not able to pee though.} I think it’s dressy enough but not overly dressy. I wonder if it’s too wild, but I do like bright & my other choices are also busy prints.

Option two: Boden Brighton Dress in Navy Eclipse. I purchased this one during their mid-season sale this week & it will hopefully arrive early next week. I think this cut will be very flattering for me, but I’m hoping it’s not too boobalious. I’m kinda in-between sizes for Boden. The last dress I bought from there I went up in size & it’s kinda big {I was being optimistic that’d I’d be knocked up wearing it last winter, not so much}.

Option three: Boden Ruched Waist Jersey Dress in Blues Dizzy Spot. This one was also purchased during the sale & on it’s way to me. I went up in size for this one since the reviews mentioned it fitting a little small. I love the details on the neckline & empired-waist. I think the 3/4 sleeves will work well in whatever’s the weather inside or out. Word on the street is that we’ll be hitting up a few Richmond bars after the rehearsal dinner so that comes into play with my dress decision too.

I bought the two dress from Boden planning to return one, but there is also a cocktail party Thursday night given by my soon-to-be SIL’s aunt & uncle. So, if both Boden dresses work for me, I could definitely wear one of them to that pre-pre-wedding party.

Which one is your favorite? What would you suggest for shoes & jewelry for each dress? Too late for open toed shoes in Oct in VA? Too early for boots?

{fatty update} I remembered this week that I’d purchased 4 Pure Barre classes with a living social deal in July, & I sweated & jiggled through the first class tonight. I really enjoyed it even though it made me realize all the flexibility I’ve lost since last time I was at a barre 11 years ago. I plan to go back a few times next week & maybe even purchase a few more sessions.

Not affiliate links. Sadly, Boden & Lilly Pulitzer don’t know who I am.

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Travel Trying To Conceive

Happy Friday?!

I was hoping I could write a happy Infertile Friday post today. Not in a “I’m pregnant” kind of happy. That’d be ecstatic happy. I was hoping for normal happy.

And now as I type this with a strong cocktail in hand, I’m happy. I’m surrounded by my parents & aunt, & tonight I will enjoy good home cooked food for the first time in five days.

But this week was another crazy one working hours away from home in the claims department. Eleven hour days filled with phone calls, check folding, writing, file organizing, & excel spreadsheet entry.

I left work at 315p ready to fight the rain for 3 hours on my way up to Richmond. Five minutes later, I’m crying as I walk embarrassed back in the office letting them know I just crashed the company car into a brick column. It’s just a sort of small horizontal dent in the back bumper only. I’m not hurt. It’s not that big of a deal. But it still sucks. And since I didn’t have cell service at all I couldn’t even call my supervisor or bosses to let them know. The managers of the claims office took photos & were going to email them to my manager.

I’m spent just typing this. And I’ve got nothing to say on the infertility front. Since my cervix dilation, I have had a lot more CM which is an awesome sign. But my being away from home & husband for two weeks means pretty much no likelihood of pregnancy this cycle. But I’ve been so busy I haven’t really had time to think about it & I’ve really been okay. So long story short. I’m okay. My company car is kinda okay. And I’m off to have another drink. Happy Infertile Friday y’all.