Patience & Forgiveness

I just read my sweet friend Suzanne’s post on asking for patience in the morning & forgiveness in the evening after a day with her two daughters. And it got me thinking.

I can honestly say that before having children, I thought some kids were annoying. And even though I dreamed of being a teacher when I was little, by middle school, I knew I didn’t have the patience to deal with kids all day. But I’d been told over & over that it all changes when they’re your own children. That their craziness & poops & squeals & farts are cute.

And seven weeks in, I can say that most of the time, I think they’re super cute & precious & I’m thankful they’re here. My thankfulness & love overpowers frustration.

But there are moments like the ones Suzanne mentioned, where both babies are screaming for attention, when I’m literally being pulled two different ways, that I can feel my patience flying out the window. It’s in those moments, usually after VERY little sleep, that I get annoyed with the babies. Yes, even in typing it I know it’s ridiculous. Annoyed that even though I just finished a forty minute nursing session, that they wake up hungry as soon as I start pumping, or while I’m trying to give attention to the other baby. Or the screaming when they have fresh diaper & full belly & I *just* laid down to try to get a 30 minute nap. I don’t think this is PPD or anything for y’all to be worried over, but these moments of being overwhelmed do alert me that I need a quick break.

Those moments are the ones that make me thankful to have Jason &/or family help as a second pair of arms. Thankful that I have help enough that I’m able to recharge with a shower or a nap & come back to the babies with patience & loving arms. Knowing that they’ll forgive me for being short, for not answering their screams with coos & a song, & knowing that I can do better the next time. That I can, like Suzanne, stop {& continue} to ask for patience & forgiveness.

4 comments

  1. molly says:

    I read the same post from Suzanne and it was SPOT ON for me and I’m sure for many other mothers out there.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself. I cannot imagine how frustrating it can get at times. But you are doing great! This is still a time of huge transition.

  2. Miranda says:

    Those feelings of being annoyed, while they suck and feel icky, are normal. You know why? Because we’re human and they’re human and sometimes humans annoy each other.

    So, yes, patience and forgiveness. And love. Always love.

  3. Mickie says:

    It is NOT ridiculous. It is completely normal. Being on baby number two, I can see it coming and calm myself more often. But I remember with Jax really not handling it so well. I’m sure it’s more than double with twins. Just know you can always put them down in a safe place (or with Dad,whatever) and just walk away if you need to calm down. Wont hurt them to cry a minute. Works wonders and you can be better ready to be loving mom again. 🙂

  4. Oh, mama. I agree with all of the above! I also wholeheartedly agree with your statement that the good (even the little glimmers of it) FAR outweigh the bad. Happens every time. Like the bad stuff gets erased and we get a clean slate. 🙂

    xoxo

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