Some days are good. Filled with snuggling, napping {us & the babies}, wonderful breastfeeding-good latches, good tandem, good pumping, waking up happy & going down easily. Yesterday was mostly one of those days.

Today has been different & more difficult. Looking back over last few months of posts, I feel I’m spewing sunshine. And some moments, minutes, hours, days are. Right now Lucy is happy in a bouncy seat & Zach is passed out in my arms.

Thirty minutes ago, no more like an hour plus because it took a while, Zach woke up screaming. Screamed through diaper changing & continued til he was nursing well. And no more than two minutes later, Lucy woke up from a good lil snooze starving. We tried placating her with the lamb wubbanub & hugs from aunt Sue but that didn’t last long.

Zach has realized that he prefers to nurse alone, cross cradle style. But that’d not always possible – welcome to the twin world of sharing & compromise brother. I switched him to tandem, added her on & cue screaming on both sides of me. Lucy was more interested suddenly in the lights from golf on TV & Zach & his reflux & tummy had decided this wasn’t what he wanted. Aunt Sue tried burping Z & I did what were calling the bait & switch {paci in his mouth pulled out quick & boob shoved in}. Those worked briefly.

I finally gave up on Z eating more this feeding. I gave him snuggles, his beloved orange hospital paci & Sue got him in a clean diaper. I was able then to capture Lucy’s attention long enough to switch her cross cradle & top her off.

By then, we were all frustrated, exhausted & maybe still a little hungry. But hugs all around were given, the babies calmed down & I gave myself grace knowing {hoping} that the next feeding would be better. I’m not willing to give up on fighting through the rough breastfeeding moments. The good breastfeeding moments make it worth while. And for now, the good ‘some days’ are out weighing the rough.

Whew! If you got through reading that, good for you.