When I think back on the first months of mothering preemies to now there’s no comparison. I think back to where we were once too busy for anything including sleep. Too busy dealing with all the changes, all the challenges, all the hardships, all the life to find but fleeting moments of joy.
Not to say that now isn’t still hard, as it is, but these new challenges, new situations {like solids & adding in formula} I can roll with & they keep me on my toes. But these days are also filled with so many more moments of fun.
I think we’ve reached very fun age. These last months as Lucy & Zach are interacting more & more & sponging everything have been wild to watch. To be there the moments they push toy/walk for the first time. They walk holding our fingers. They open mouth laugh while being tickled & copy cat us making funny faces.
After my mom left last weekend, she was sad saying on the phone that she’d be missing out on the fun my dad & I would have with the babies this week. My dad laughed & said it’s hard to call this fun. {He’s the one who’s picked up handling laundry, dishes & bottle washing while I’m at work these two weeks. And also giving morning snuggles & Zach’s bedtime routine.}
After they hung up, I laughed & said to Dad, this is my version of fun. Playing with a tiny kitchen. Putting balls on a play table. Feeding babies. Making bottles. Washing diapers. Putting Lucy & Zach to bed. It’s now my evening fun. And what choice do I have? As I said, this is my life; I have to call it fun or go a lil crazy.
So as I juggle holding & hugging two before & after working a full time day job, paying bills {including still fighting with my health ins company & hospital over maternity bills} & making dinners, I can say that not every moment is fun. Trust me, Lucy was the only one really having fun still being awake Sunday night at 1030p! But it was fun that she was blowing raspberries, making kissy fish faces & clapping she was so impressed with herself afterward.
That is my new defition of fun. And I’ll take it.
{Today marks one year since Zach’s water broke which was the catalyst that began my 2 weeks of bed-rest followed by their birth. Be prepared for more sappy posts as I reflect on their first year here & my first year of motherhood.}