Infertility & Marriage

This has been on my mind this week. You know how “they” say, “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. It’s true. Three weeks away from husband in the past five weeks & he’s worked those weekends that I have been home. I’ve missed him & am glad we have next couple weekends together.

That said. What I’ve really been thinking about is how infertility, really TTC in general, changes a marriage. Some of the changes are good. Some are
bad. Some are just changes.

I’m less naive & maybe more cynical. Husband has always been a bit of both. I guess we now mesh well in that area.

There’s times when I look at Jason with Moekitty or around other kids & my heart swells with love & bursts with sadness that I haven’t been able to give us that future baby yet.

Infertility has forced us both to be patient. We knew things happen in God’s time, not ours, but it’s the working through months of waiting & trying that test that mindset and is something that’s been in my thoughts & prayers a lot recently. We learned to be patient with each other, with doctors, with our bodies & what they do or don’t do.

There have been times I look at Husband as the “giver of the buddies” more than the beloved husband. He’s good at calling me on that one ~ and I’m glad when he does & snaps me back from being that infertile-zilla {you know, like a bride-zilla but for the wanna-be-baby-maker}.

Infertility has made us speak more deeply. About our future hopes & dreams. About our ideas in baby-raising. About finances. About just how far we’re willing to go to have a child. Tough conversations but oh so important ones.

These & all the over changes I’ve mistakenly left off this list will make it even the more sweet when that long awaited BFP occurs.

I missed last Friday as an Infertile Friday {I was a little busy at my brother’s wedding}. So I’m calling this Infertile Monday. How is/has/did TTC &/or infertility change your marriage?


  1. Kayla Phillips says:

    When we were TTC, I noticed small changes in our marriage – growing closer, but still trying to figure out where we stood on parenting things and rearranging priorities. Those tough-but-important conversations can be so strengthening for a marriage, I think. Hoping for good news for you!

  2. KH99 says:

    TTC and IF definitely changed our marriage but in a good way. We had always been close, but going through IF strengthened us and made us a true partnership. There were many times that it felt like us against the world. He was my rock and picked me up many times. Surrogacy was his idea. And nothing says trust like letting your husband inject you multiple times with various fertility meds and knowing he’ll do a good job!

    • Suz says:

      I haven’t been brave enough to have husband do the injections. I like the control plus his work schedule doesn’t always work for that. I think it’s awesome that yours did that!

      I agree that I love the true partnership that IF brings to a couple.

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